Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Tribute

Tribute
If I blink, I'd miss it
Six people reaching out in agony
Six people furiously slamming into the ground in spite and confusion
"There was smoke everywhere and people were jumping out!"
Five people plummetting to the ground...
One girl spinning, throwing herself to the floor
"And now for a moment of silence...Thank you."

2 comments:

Kris said...

Powerful! Emily, the only suggestion I have would be to use the strong verbs you have used throughout the poem in your smoke line. It seems as if the action should be building here, and the passive verbs slow it down.

Anonymous said...

I like how throughout the poem the tone is kind of Chaotic until that last line.